This evening I had a wonderful chat with my lovely lady. It was one of those relationship talks that you don’t have often enough. And it got me thinking…why not? Why don’t we talk about these things enough in our society.
You see, it doesn’t matter how good you are at conflict resolution if there isn’t a conflict to resolve. When you know a lot of minor problems that you have with relating to people stem from your own personal idiosyncrasies you’ll often see no reason to bring them up, because its your fault any way…isn’t it? That, right there, is the trap. It is too easy to get caught up in that thinking.
Firstly, it IS very important to constantly be focused on what you need to do to relate to people better. BUT one of those things is to confess those idiosyncrasies so that the other party can understand you just that little bit better. Nine times out of ten they would have already guessed it – but it is a lot easier to understand a persons behaviour and react accordingly if your not basing it off a guess.
The recurring lesson is not just “honesty is the best policy,” a better cliché is “prevention is the best medicine.” Learn to understand yourself, but don’t just stop there: communicate yourself to other people and ask the reciprocal of them (in whichever order). But don’t just wait for conflict to have resolution: try pre-emptive communication.
Furthermore, always consider yourself very lucky if you have someone that not only helps you learn and grow, but they also have the patience and care to help you do it right. And my dear friend, I am just that lucky.
…in fact, I am luckier than that, but that is beyond the scope of this entry.